Ever since I can remember I have lived in fear. Fear of something bad happening to people I love. When I was a little girl I would often go to spend the night with friends. Inevitably I would end up calling home asking my mother to come pick me up. Why? Because my mind had wondered, conjectured, and dreamed about all the horrific things that could be happening to my family. You know, like the house burning down, the dog going mad and biting my sister a thousand times, a tree falling on the house…
As this past weekend approached I could already sense that I would be thinking all weekend about something happening to Paul (he went on a men’s retreat to Spain). I was crying before he left. Pitiful. But also very sad…I was fearful of something that had not happened.
About a week and a half ago I started a study called “Six Secrets to a Powerful Quiet Time”. One day we had to pick a life verse. My initial response was, “This is just a little too cheesy for me and I don’t want to do it.” But, I wanted to get something out of the study so I did it. My verse is Psalm 34:4
“I sought the LORD and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.”
Over the entire weekend while Paul was away I did have any thoughts of him dying or being seriously hurt because whenever those thoughts came to mind I remembered this verse. God has not created us to be fearful. There is no darkness or fear in God, only light and truth. I do not have to live in fear and I finally saw that and lived it this weekend for the first time in my life.