Trusting God. It can sometimes be a hard thing to do. For whatever reason I would question, doubt, have fear. Maybe it was because people in my life had left me disappointed, lied to, heartbroken, fearful, hurt, sad, or angry. Maybe it’s because at some point in my life I had made decisions that left me disappointed, lied to, heartbroken, fearful, hurt, sad, or angry.
Over the last few years in my life, especially the last year and a half I have learned to trust. Completely trust. That does not mean that I always like the things that I am asked to do, told to do, or led to do, but I do them because I trust that the God who has lead me this far in my life…who has always provided, always answered prayers, always been good, always forgiven me, always held me in His loving arms protecting and sheltering me…will never let me out of the palm of His hand. He loves me. I am His and He is mine. This is truth. This is why I can trust Him, more than any other. This is why when He says “Go, be a part of something new, in a place that you do not know, with people you do not know” I can say “Yes, sir.”
I say all this to tell you about how amazingly God is providing. Most of you know that we are in the process of raising our own support for the position Paul will be serving in North Carolina. Our salary with the IMB ended in December and we have not been able to draw anything from the support we have already raised yet. That being said, we have not gone without. People have given and I don’t just mean to our monthly support. I mean, randomly someone will give us $10 or $50.
I have yet to have a moment when I have thought, “How am I going to buy groceries?” God is always providing what we need.
So I daily have to make the choice to trust in the Lord with all my heart and I daily have to pray that I will not lean on my own understanding. Because in my own understanding our bank accounts shouldn’t balance, this move to North Carolina is nonsense, starting over again at almost 30 is absurd. But in trusting Him, it all makes perfect sense.