Signs you are entering the third and final stage

Here’s a list of signs a woman is entering her third and final trimester.

1. Feet? What are those?
2. You have become half monkey, picking things up off the floor with your toes.
3. When you do have to bend over one hand immediately goes to your lower back, your legs are spread, and you grunt.
4. Your husband must help push you up when you are in a reclining position and need to get up.
5. When your husband is not home you kick your legs violently trying to get momentum to get yourself out of a reclining position.
6. You have to go to the bathroom even when you haven’t drank anything in an hour.
7. Your belly button reminds you of a thermometer in a turkey, telling you you’re about done.
8. You sleep with at least 4 pillows.
9. You realize that you will only be able to clip your toenails for a few more weeks. Then you will have to pray that your husband loves you enough to do it for you.
10. You have begun “the waddle”.

This list is based on my own experience and is not applicable to all women in the same condition. 🙂

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One thought on “Signs you are entering the third and final stage

  1. 1. Rolling onto your side helps when trying to sit up from a reclining position. This will remain true for at least a few weeks postpartum, until your stomach muscles decide to rejoin the rest of your body.
    2. Give yourself a pedicure now while you can still reach your toes to paint them. That way if your feet swell up like Ballpark franks, at least your toes will still look pretty.
    3. Your newfound half-monkey toe skills will continue to be useful when you attempt to pick things up while holding a baby. 🙂
    Best of luck for the next few months! It's all worth it (as if you didn't know that already).

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