Here’s a list of signs a woman is entering her third and final trimester.
1. Feet? What are those?
2. You have become half monkey, picking things up off the floor with your toes.
3. When you do have to bend over one hand immediately goes to your lower back, your legs are spread, and you grunt.
4. Your husband must help push you up when you are in a reclining position and need to get up.
5. When your husband is not home you kick your legs violently trying to get momentum to get yourself out of a reclining position.
6. You have to go to the bathroom even when you haven’t drank anything in an hour.
7. Your belly button reminds you of a thermometer in a turkey, telling you you’re about done.
8. You sleep with at least 4 pillows.
9. You realize that you will only be able to clip your toenails for a few more weeks. Then you will have to pray that your husband loves you enough to do it for you.
10. You have begun “the waddle”.
This list is based on my own experience and is not applicable to all women in the same condition. 🙂