Down but not out

Apologies for the absence. The last month and a half or so have not been very fun for me or Paul. I fully expected to have morning or evening sickness but not all day and all night sickness. I realize I have the tendency to exaggerate, but I am not exaggerating about this. I have been nauseated or vomiting every day since my last post (minus about 3 or 4 “good” days). I am not writing this to get sympathy just to let you know why there hasn’t been a post for a while and why I have not responded to emails or facebook posts. Looking at the computer makes me pretty sick feeling so I am doing good to write this.
I am still not feeling well but I’m about to be in week 12 so hopefully it’s almost over. Right now I feel like I should be in one of those books about pregnancy horror stories or something. However, I know I am going to look back at some point and see what God was teaching me and what I hopefully learned. I’ve already learned some things. One thing is about how closed minded and self centered I have been through all of this. I have focused on myself because I have never felt so bad in my life. I forgot about hope and strength and how God takes away all our fears, even fears of throwing up. I wallowed in my nausea. For a brief moment in time I lost the big picture…not of the wonderful baby that will be here in 9 months, which is true, but the big picture of God and who He is and the truths I need just to go through my everyday life.
Our friend Sharon Rice felt so sorry for me she got on a plane and came to Italy to help us out. I’m glad she came if for no other reason than to give Paul a break from the craziness that is his pregnant, nauseated, vomiting wife. Sharon has been reading her Bible study to me (reading makes me sick as well these days). This is the best thing that has occurred in the last few weeks. The words of Scripture she read reminded me of the truths that I have abandoned for self-pity and wallowing. I am not forsaken, I am loved, I can rest in the shadow of His wings, I can take refuge in Him, the darkness will pass and morning will come. It’s funny the things that lead us to dark places and sometimes funnier the things it takes to bring us back to the light. It took God putting in mine and Paul’s heart the courage to ask Sharon to come to Italy and Him to put in hers the peace to come and the wisdom to bring a Bible study and read to me out loud for me to step out of the darkness. God works through all kinds of ways.
My mother is coming is a few days….I’m curious to see what God is going to do through her.

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