I have never, ever liked fundraising. As a kid, instead of selling boxes of chocolate-covered almonds for my softball league I would put the box containing about one hundred boxes of candy on the table and my family would begin the process of devouring all one hundred boxes. My mom would just write a check to cover our love of chocolate-covered nuts and my dislike for selling them.

Needless to say, I never won the award for most boxes of chocolate sold.

And I was o.k. with that.

So when we began the process of fundraising to be a part of REVO, you could say I was less than excited about it. To be honest, Paul did 98% of the work.

And I was o.k. with that.

For the last three years we have raised support and I would like to share some of the realities of what that means for our family.

We are dependent on others having jobs, being generous with what they have, understanding what we are doing and why, and wanting to be a part of it.

Our groceries, bills, mortgage, gas for our lawnmower, clothes, toothpaste and toilet paper are all bought with money we receive from others. When people give we are able to have all those things, but when they don’t it means that something has to give. Our budget is constantly changing because our income is constantly changing, sometimes from month to month. Have you ever had to redo a budget every single month? Maybe you are a math person, like my friend Vince, and enjoy those types of things. I do not. I like it about as much as selling chocolate-covered almonds.

We have to make hard choices sometimes. This past week I accidentally bought dishwashing liquid instead of dishwasher detergent. While you might be able to run out and get the correct item, we washed dishes by hand until today when I would have another week’s grocery money. We aren’t able to save for retirement or for a vacation. When my friends or their children have birthdays I want so very badly to buy them a small something, but I know most likely I won’t be able to do so. Have you ever shown up to a party with no gift? Honestly, it can feel humiliating and embarrassing. We are so fortunate to have great friends who completely understand, never expecting anything and never making me feel bad about coming empty-handed.

As much as being self-supported can be a struggle, I would not do it another way. Don’t get me wrong I eagerly await the day when Paul can draw a salary, but until then I try to see all the blessings that being self-supported has brought and continues to bring.

We have seen, and continue to see, people being incredibly generous, and in many cases doing so sacrificially. Their generosity has enabled us to not only buy milk, diapers, and shoes but to give back to others. There have been times when we have received a random check in the mail and around the same time a need in a friend’s life would arise and we have been able to help meet that need.

We have seen people rally behind us, understanding the vision God has laid on our hearts and the hearts of the people who make up REVO.

We have become so very dependent on God, but isn’t this where He wants us? If we were able to meet all our financial needs ourselves then would never have come to know God as our provider in this way.  It is when we are weak that He is strong. It is when we come to Him with our fears of not knowing how ends will meet that He hears us and calms our fears.

I could tell you story after story of how He has provided, usually by using those who have supported us. We have come to rely on Him in a different way than before we started this journey. My faith is more steadfast now. My love deeper. My thankfulness has no end. All because He has shown me more of Himself and taught me how to trust beyond all human reason.

That is worth every struggle, every hard decision, every dime that has been fund raised over the past three years and every dime that will be fund raised in the future.

MacKenzie

I recently discovered something about myself that I really do not like. I yell. At my kids. Almost daily. And I don’t like it…not at all. When I yell at Gingernut and Lil’ Paul I immediately feel guilt, like I am the worst mom in the world and that I am failing my children. Sometimes I look at them and think, “How can I scream at someone who only a few years ago was so tiny the thought of screaming never entered my mind? How can I yell at someone I profess to love more than life?”

But it is SO HARD NOT TO YELL! Does anyone agree? Anyone? Anyone? Is this on…?

So how do I stop yelling at my two lovely children?

A few months ago I stumbled upon a website called The Orange Rhino. It is written by a mom of four boys, and as a mother of four boys doesn’t she have every reason to yell? She realized that she was yelling too much and took on the challenge of not yelling for 365 days. That’s an entire year folks. One whole year.

Her story is inspiring. Her story is encouraging. She gives great tips and alternatives to yelling as she  guides you on a journey to being a better mom to your kids. I haven’t been able to get through the entire website, but immediately upon reading a small portion I was convinced that something had to change. And by that something, I mean myself. One of the best pieces of advice my dad has given me is you can’t do anything about how others behave, but you can do something about how you behave. My children are going to throw fits. They are going to yell. They are going to sit in the floor, pouting until they get their way. But that doesn’t mean I have to.

I became tired of not just the yelling, but of what the yelling brings with it. I became discontented.

I am no longer content to yell at my kids, feeling tons of guilt and remorse, then apologizing only to repeat the same thing the next day.
I am no longer content to behave as badly as a four and a two year old.
I am no longer content to lash out in anger because I cannot deal with that emotion in a proper way.
I am no longer content to have feelings of being a bad mom to my kids.

Here’s why.

I don’t want the kids to be scared to tell me they spilled milk or didn’t make it to the bathroom in time for fear that I will yell, criticize, or degrade them. I want them to be able to come to me with the good, the bad, the ugly and know that when necessary they will be disciplined but above everything I love them, cherish them, and want the best for them.

I want them to learn how to handle their emotions. To learn that their is a better way than yelling and throwing a tantrum. And more times than not those ways will yield a better response from others.

I want to teach them how to be good parents.

I want them to learn how to use their words for good…to uplift, encourage, discipline not out of anger but love. I want them to know their words can cut like a knife or they can heal like a soothing balm.

But what I want most is for my children to love and seek the Lord and have an accurate picture of Him. Where are they going to learn to do or not do that? I want them to see Him living in me. I don’t want them to picture God as someone who professes to love them but then yells and degrades them. For me, this is the most powerful motivation to change.

So how am I doing with this? Wwweeelll…I will say that I am yelling less than I was three months ago. That’s something, right? Due to the decrease in yelling, my time with Gingernut and Lil’ Paul is more cherished. We have more fun, play more, and enjoy each other more. Their behavior is improving as well. Instead of asking or telling them over and over to do something I try to tell them one time. If they don’t respond I begin counting. If by three they have not responded then they go to time out. It’s saving me a lot of headaches and anger. I do still have moments of frustration and it takes everything in me to not yell. Hear me when I write….it takes everything in me.

As great as The Orange Rhino has been for me, the thing that has been the most beneficial is the amount of time I spend seeking the Lord. The more I am consumed with Him, the better I am able to show love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. The more I look at Him, the better I am to see my children the way He does. Those little things that could so easily irritate become just little things, in some cases little things to laugh at. I am finding that I don’t want to yell. The desire is slowly fading away. Why? Because when I am consumed by Jesus, the “everything in me” that I wrote about above is Him doing a great work within my heart to make me more like Him.

What are your thoughts? Are you cool, calm, and in control all the time? If so, let me how you handle it all.

While in Mississippi, after the New Year was rung in, my dad and his friends had themselves an old-fashioned hawg killin’. I call it “The Event”. From the actual killing to the butchering, they did it all. They wanted to again experience something of their childhood. They wanted their children and grandchildren to see something they’d only heard about in horror stories.

My dad, aka the Frank, the conqueror of pigs, is the one walking towards the pots with the bucket. I love him beyond reason….

So, here is how you go about a hawg killin’ folks. A quick disclaimer, some of the pictures might be a little…well, I guess much for some.  Just want you to know before you keep scrolling down.

First, well, you have to kill the hog. It was explained in the days leading up to “The Event” that there are several ways of killing a hog. The easiest, and method chosen on this day, was to shoot the hogs and then slit the throat. Gruesome…yes. But it’s the way our forefathers got bacon and pork chops so let’s not judge too much.

My dad killed the first two and since he’s not much on killing things he asked our friend Chuck to do the last one. I could write a book on my adventures with Chuck and my dad…but those are stories for another time and this is just another chapter in that book.

After they are dead, the hogs are placed in this here barrel with scalding water in efforts to begin the hair removal process. And the hair MUST be removed in order to have cracklin’ later on.

 The hog is then moved closer to the pots of boiling water.

 Burlap sacks are soaked in the pots and then placed on the hog to keep the hair soft.

Then you scrap the hair off using a large bladed knife. This took an extremely long time. A painstakingly long time.

 After all the hair is removed, the insides, or chitlins, are removed…

and the hog is cut in half. The man with the saw is my family doctor, Dr. Bryant. Oh, the things he and my dad come up with to do. They have a molasses mill in the process of being built, along with the sugar cane growing in a field, in hopes of making their own molasses. We all dream of drizzling that molasses on top of a stack of pancakes one day…one day.

 The hog is then moved to the butcher table, where the good doctor and one of the town judges proceed to chop him up. Hmmm…tenderloin. After a hard day of work, the men closed up shop and returned the following morning. They made sausage and put hams in salt boxes, which will later be hung to smoke. It was two very hard days, which my dad vows to never again repeat. But they can watch it over and over because…

Walt Grayson from WLBT news in Jackson came to film “The Event”. I grew up watching him do the weather and going around Mississippi reporting on the Natchez Trace in Fall, historic sights, farming, festivals, etc. He can now add hog killing to his list of things he has seen and recorded. You can’t imagine how I had to hold it together when he drove up, but I did it. It turned out way better than the Pioneer Woman incident I can tell you that. Luckily, we had enough warning that he would be there and I was able to get all the crazy out the night before.

 “The Event” made its way onto the news the week after it occurred. When it gets posted online, I’ll put it up.

And now you know how to kill a hog should you ever get the notion.

Waitin’ to eat some fresh bacon,
MacKenzie

Faith, trust, steadfastness…words that have been on my heart a lot the past month or so.

It started when a friend and I memorized James 1:3 together.

For some reason I felt compelled to memorize more than just that one verse. I had no idea why at the time.

James 1:3-8:

I just smiled. I pictured God giving me a wink. In that moment he was not only reassuring and teaching me but He was also answering a prayer. A prayer, nonetheless, for wisdom and to better understand the concept of steadfastness.

Steadfastness in this verse means endurance, perseverance, stand firm.

 It is the testing of my faith that will bring about steadfastness. And as Wesley, my pastor, said, it is not God that is testing us. We are tested because of sin. Sin is what makes me lean on my own understanding. Sin is what makes me waiver in my faith. Sin is what makes me question.

But sin doesn’t get to win. It doesn’t get the last say so.

While I don’t welcome trials, I am learning that it is in trials that I better see the face and feel the touch of God Almighty. I pray that in trials I will remain steadfast and have the peace that He has left for me. That peace which will surpass all my understanding. And in remaining steadfast, I am leaning on Him instead of myself, which will result in Him directing my path…which leads right back to Him.

The following poem was written by myself and a high school friend for a project in English at some point in high school. Although it is several days past Christmas, I wanted to share it with you.

Cap and Nana got a new puppy.

Gingernut fell head over heals.

But, really, who wouldn’t?

Goodnight,
Mother of a puppy-lover

We made it to Louisiana…and I am going to boast a little bit here. We made it in record time. We made a 850.46 mile trip in 13 hours. Yes folks, you read that correctly. We made a 15 hour trip in only 13. Whoop-whoop!
No speeding was involved while I was behind the wheel.

When we set out I decided to download some comedy podcast to keep me awake when it was my turn to drive, and I stumbled upon the Christian Comedy Chicks.

I found myself laughing out loud at times, so loud in fact I was afraid I would wake the sleeping peeps in the truck.

The Chicks are Jessica Ramirez and Laura Mae Poore, best friends who joined forces to make a powerful touring and radio comedy duo. But they are more than comedy. They are encouraging and uplifting and real and I was hooked after the first fifteen minute podcast.

They got me from Anderson, South Carolina to somewhere in Alabama. Then from Philadelphia, Mississippi to Ruston, Louisiana.

You can check ’em out  on their facebook page or on their website. 

You know your friends love your kids more than you when not only does one of them dress up like Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because they were on your daughter’s birthday party guest list but when she goes to the mall to ride the carousel…on Saturday…that would be the Saturday before Christmas.

Webster’s dictionary defines a disciple as one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another.

Jesus’ definition of disciple is much more complex. It has more depth, more dimensions than just the teaching of doctrine. 

So how does Jesus define disciple? 

“A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master. If they have called the head of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign the members of his household!” Matthew 10:24-25

A disciple is one who “[goes] and [makes] disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that [Jesus] commanded [them]….” Matthew 28:19

“Whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.” Mark 3:35

“Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” Mark 2:17

“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.”  Mark 8:34-35

Taking a child, He set him before them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them [the disciples] “Whoever receives one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me.” Mark 9:36-37

Calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them. But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Mark 10:41-45

Jesus to the disciples, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.” Mark 11:25

“In His teaching He was saying: “Beware of the scribes who like to walk around in long robes, and like respectful greetings in the market places, and chief seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets, who devour widows’ houses, and for appearance’s sake offer long prayers; these will receive greater condemnation.” Mark 12:38-40

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Who ever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you…Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge and you will not judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give and it will be given to you.” Luke 6:27-31; 36-38a

Explaining the parable of the sower Jesus said, “But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.” Mark 8:15

“Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lamp stand, so that those who come in may see the light.” Mark 8:16

When speaking with the Samaritan woman, “But an hour is coming, and how is, when the true worshipers will worship the Gather in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” John 4:23-24

After washing the disciples feet Jesus says to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. for I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.” John 13:12-15

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

“He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” John 13:21

These are only a few of the ways Jesus defines a disciples. There are countless parables and other teachings in the gospels, not to mention all the teachings found in the Old Testament and letters written to the churches. 

I am learning so much about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. As I crave more and more of Him, I learn more about Him and the beauty of living in His richness.

So, what have I learned so far? 

Jesus is calling me to be a forgiving, loving, humble, obedient, serving, worshiping, full of His light, bearing fruit, merciful, following, teaching, baptizing, self-denying disciple. 

And that is only the surface. 

I can’t wait to learn more. 

And then to begin to be transformed by the Holy Spirit to look more like the One who saved me. 

MacKenzie