A couple of days ago Paul asked me to read a blog post about Elf on the Shelf. The writer of the blog spent the entire post more or less condemning other moms who make their Elves do naughty things, like take all the ornaments off the shelf, tear up the toilet paper, or throw flour all over the kitchen floor, and making other moms feel inferior or like bad moms. The post was humorously written, and I laughed quite a bit. And admittedly, I have felt the same way at times.
I’ll be the first to admit that I stopped looking at Pinterist because it made me upset that I don’t have the money to make all the cute, easy to make crafty things on there. It also created feelings of jealousy because I am unable to create things that after seeing it you think, “Well, that’s obvious.” I have also been guilty of comparing myself to other moms that seem to have it all together. You know, the ones who can refinish a $10 cabinet they found at a yard sale, make everything at their kids’ birthday parties from scratch, clip coupons saving their families hundreds of dollars, and feed a baby…all at the same time.
I have been thinking about all this for the past few days and I have come to a few conclusions.
1. Women who seem to have it all together will more times than not tell you they don’t. The thing is they are not putting all their junk out there for people to read about. They are only putting the good stuff. And that’s perfectly okay. But nobody has it together 100% of the time. Nobody.
2. Women who make their Elves do more creative things than move from one shelf to another (I can hardly remember to do that. As I type this I remember that I forgot to move the little dude last night. Maybe I can move it before anyone notices him in the same spot), who can create something out of nothing, who homeschool seven kids with a smile on their face everyday and never seem to need a break…those women aren’t making me feel jealous or envious or inferior. I allow myself to feel that way by comparing myself to them. Let’s be honest, that’s where those feelings come from, right? Comparing. And we women are oh so good at comparing ourselves to one another. There have been many articles written about the battle of the moms going on. We compare our kids, our marriages, our homes, our creativity or lack thereof, our jobs, our everything to one another. Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? It does nothing but hinder relationships and at its worst, end friendships. Again, I ask why?