Over the next three months the relationship between Paul and I developed quite rapidly. Meantime, I was sweating over my upcoming comprehensive exams. Three years of studying, classes, and working my behind off would come down to two days at the end of April. Passing meant graduation, failing meant no graduation and another semester of constant studying.

I’ll spare you the gory details of those two very stressful days. It is sufficient to say, however, that there was a lot of crying before, almost during, and most definitely after it was all said and done with, especially when I was told I would graduate.

My parents, grandparents, and family friends, Jimmy and Kathy Rone, arrived in Fort Worth on Friday afternoon. After Paul got off work we headed over to the hotel. I was more nervous about him meeting them than I was about our first date. Would they approve? Would he like them? Would he run away not wanting anything more to do with me?

We knock, the door is opened, hugs are exchanged, and then Paul is introduced. You know the awkwardness that always invades a space when there is a new person coming into a group that has known each other forever? Well, I don’t know if it was that or just my nerves, but I was so jittery I could hardly sit still…or be quiet. I sometimes talk rapidly when I am very nervous. However, he and my dad – the one I was really concerned about – were hitting it off, and during a fine dinner of fajitas at Uncle Julio’s Paul got to know my grandparents and Jimmy and Kathy as they played a game of “let-me-learn-everything-about-you-in-a-short-amount-of-time-so-I-can-give-my-approval-or-disapproval-of-you”. It’s a fun game for everybody involved, except for the girlfriend who is listening in praying her boyfriend answers every questions satisfactorily.

I awoke Saturday ready to graduate, fully aware it was happening my the good graces of three or four professors. Paul met my family and took them to the church where graduation would be held since I had to be there so early.

During the ceremony a conversation between my father and Paul took place about Paul’s future plans. What degree is he pursuing? What does he want to do? It comes out that Paul has to go overseas for two years. Apparently my father did not get the memo because he quietly excused himself as his chest tightened with the overwhelming thought that his daughter might be going with this young man overseas.

Paul grinned slightly, but nothing more was said on the topic of whether or not I would be willing to go overseas for the rest of lunch or for the next couple of weeks.

A few weeks passed with me in a dream-like state and my heart growing ever fonder of Paul, and at the end of February I headed down to Houston with a carload of friends to work a Disciple Now youth event. How would I ever make it through the weekend without seeing Paul? I didn’t know if I could take it. I can be a bit dramatic at times.

However after a long weekend spent with 7th grade girls I made it back to Fort Worth intact and without a breakdown while I had been away.

After throwing my bags in my apartment I walked as fast as I could, trying to appear calm to onlookers, to Paul’s apartment. My heart was beating out of my chest. I just couldn’t wait to see him. After all it had been THREE WHOLE DAYS since I’d seen him last. And at last I arrived and there he was…oh, how I had missed him.

Wanting some alone time we headed to my apartment because I, being the independent-need-my-own-space person that I am, had no roommates. We sat on the couch and I told him about the weekend and then about how much I’d missed him. Wait…was it too soon to mention that? All well, it was out there now.

After a couple of hours of catching up I walked Paul to the door, and it happened. That moment every girl dreams about. That knee-popping, out of this world, mind blowing, I almost fainted last first kiss.

My head continued to spin over the next weeks. Who was this man who had unexpectedly come into my life and turned it upside down? I didn’t know but I was perfectly content to allow it to happen.

We continued to go out for lunch every week by ourselves, enjoying getting to know more about one another over lunch. You can learn a lot about someone by what they eat. Are they healthy or a junk food junky? Do they like to try new things or are they a creature of habit? We chose to hit up Cousins B-B-Q one day in an effort to change up our routine of cafeteria lunches. Little did I know that a pivotal conversation would happen over a couple of BBQ sandwiches.

Sitting at a table secluded from any surrounding customers, Paul asked, “Do you think you would ever consider going overseas?” Maybe a footnote should be added here. Paul was in a degree program that required him going overseas for two years to serve as a missionary. He was in the process of meeting with International Mission Board (IMB) representatives and determining where in the world he wanted to spend two years of his life. Then, oops, I showed up. Now he had to figure out if I would even consider the possibility of a life overseas. I was in my last semester, trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do after graduation. I was looking into everything from women’s ministry to missions mobilization.

We would leave the restaurant holding hands with nobody able to pry us apart or as a disappointed young man and woman who would only be friends.

Paul sat patiently waiting for my answer.

Here comes my second bold statement to this man I had just started dating, “Well, I have always had a heart for missions and am currently looking for jobs that would allow me to mobilize. I’ve never really considered going full time though. But I’ll tell you this. 1) I am not waiting on you for two years and 2) I am not following you all over the world without a ring. Ultimatum…a new word was added to my vocabulary.

I awoke Sunday, the day after the date that had not started as such, in a state of utter disbelief. Did last night really happen? It seemed to good to be true. Here was this great guy who was interested in dating me and I had permission from his ex-girlfriend, who happened to be a good friend of mine, to date him. It seemed like it was meant to be. However,…

Every time I started dating someone, I jumped in with both feet and never bothered to pray about it until after the fact. Maybe I should be a little clearer on my dating history or lack thereof. In high school I dated two guys, in college I had one serious relationship and just went out once or twice with a couple of other guys, and in seminary I only had a couple of first dates (I don’t count the one guy my brother and his friends set me up with that ended up ….. well that’s another story for another time) and that’s it. As you can tell, I was not an “experienced” dater. However, even with the few young men I did go out with prayer did not enter the picture until after I had gone out with someone, if it entered the picture at all.

I was determined to do things differently this time. I’d been hurt, made my share of mistakes, and been down the wrong road enough to not want to do it the same old way again. And there was just something different about Paul. I wanted to make sure this was something God wanted for me, not just something I wanted for myself. After church I went to the botanical gardens and spent time in prayer, and I felt a great sense of peace. That’s really the best way to describe it.

I left and headed over to some friends’ house to watch the Superbowl, taking my new rightful place next to Paul on the couch…and never leaving his side. It was a done deal at this point. I was all in.

“Uh, uh, well, I mean…umm….It’s just that I like hanging out with you and I thought..um….uhh,” he said.

Yes, that was the response I got from Paul over a dessert in Chili’s. I had never seen anyone fall apart like that when trying to answer a question. It was a pretty straight forward question, right? But now I was molto confuso. Why would he ask me, whom he hadn’t known very long and not one of his other friends he’d had for years? Puzzling it was, puzzling.

I took him at face value though and approached February 4, the scheduled “date”, as though I was going to eat with a friend. A very good-looking, funny, nice, perfect-for-me friend.

He didn’t tell me where we were going, only to dress nice and he’d be at my house at 6:00. My usual “date” routine was to start about two hours beforehand in order to give myself plenty of time and not be rushed. So around 4:00 I got a shower, sat on the couch for a few minutes to give my hair a little while to air dry, put on make-up, sat on the couch a little while to rest from all the primping so far, dried my hair, sat on the couch to wait for the straightener to heat up, finished with my hair, sat on the couch until it was closer to 6:00, and finally, at around 5:50, got dressed. I chose to wear a boat collared white sweater with a bow on the side of the collar and my favorite turquoise pleated skirt with black heals. I think I borrowed a purse from Tanya.

As I was finishing up in the bathroom and 6:00 rapidly approached I found myself getting anxious. Was I getting nervous? “No, surely not,” I thought as I squirted a little perfume on. “What’s there to be nervous about. This is NOT a date.”

There was a knock at the door. This was it. I opened the door to find a sharply dressed Paul. Man, he looked good. Deep breath. “Hi. You look very nice,” he said. I returned the compliment and walked outside to hop inside that great Silverado.

We made small talk in the truck on the way to our destination, which I still didn’t know at this point. However, as we kept driving I said, “Are we going to that Italian place that’s just right up the street?” Sure enough I was right.

We were seated at a candlelit table, a very intimate setting for something that was not a date. Paul ordered an appetizer and as we shared it I began to talk about a couple of relationships that I was confused about and might have to back away from for a while.

“Is this one of them?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said. I had never been so direct with any guy I had ever been out with before. What in the world was I saying? Little did I know that I would be MUCH more direct and bolder than I’d ever been in the near future.

He explained that he really liked me and would like to date me but if I only wanted to be friends then that would be fine.

I blushed and smiled a little. I don’t remember saying too much, if anything. Paul suggested we change the subject and just enjoy the evening, which we did.

After a delicious meal we went ice skating. I, of course, almost fell on one occasion and Paul chivalrously took hold of me so I wouldn’t ungraciously hit the ice. In doing so we ended up holding hands. He kept holding my hand, and after having to let go in order to avoid colliding with a fallen child, he took my hand again. I grew giddy, excited. This was developing into something quite quickly.

We left the ice rink to rent a movie and went to my apartment to watch it. “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” could have been left at Blockbuster however. It would go down as one of the not-so-good-movies-I-have-seen. Paul departed after the movie was over, and I was left with my head spinning….and I hadn’t even been kissed. The night that didn’t start as a date most definitely ended as one.

A few more lunches came and went. A budding friendship was almost in full bloom. While our friendship was deepening, Tanya was busy being pursued by another suitor. Despite this fact, I refused to let myself consider Paul anything other than a friend…however difficult it was proving to be.

Paul and I were spending more and more time together, going to the gym, which I later found out was something Paul rarely did, and continuing to go to lunch once or twice a week. On one such day Paul and I headed off to Hulen Mall’s food court to meet up with some friends to take advantage of the buy a combo get a free sandwich deal for seminary students at Chick-Fil-A. After lunch he and I loaded up in his Silver Chevy Silverado and headed back to campus. Almost as soon as we began to drive out of the parking lot Paul say, “So my parents sent me some money for my birthday to go eat and I was wondering if you’d like to go.”

Chirp…chirp…chirp…those birds chirped away for what seemed like minutes. What was I supposed to say??!! Of course I wanted to go, but my mind immediately jumped to Tanya. Then went to “In what way is he asking me out? Is it just as friends or something more? What just happened??”

However, my response was, “Sure.”

I get home and immediately begin watching the parking lot for Tanya to pull up so I can charge into her apartment, explain myself and ask for permission. Upon hearing what had happened, Tanya says, “I think that’d be great. You guys have a lot in common. I think you should date him.” WHAT??!!! I say, “No, no, no. This is just a friend date. There’s nothing going on.” “Well, it’d be just fine if you wanted to date him,” Tanya says.

Between the time of Paul’s asking me to go eat with him and the actual going out to eat I had to play for a pre-party for a School of Music event at Bass Hall. A group of friends had gotten tickets to attend the actual event but it turned out Paul was the only one who showed up. Again, I thought nothing of this.

After finishing up with my responsibilities, I met a fast-food holding Paul outside Bass Hall with only about five minutes to find our seats before the curtain went up. Grateful as I was for the food Paul had brought me I was eager to get inside. So we found some hungry event workers to give the food to and headed in.

It was a great night of music. I believe it was a new experience for Paul, but it was one I enjoyed every time I had the chance. I love sitting in a theater, watching musicians passionately convey emotion to you through their chosen instrument. After a rousing finale of the

“Hallelujah Chorus” Paul and I headed to Chili’s for a bite to eat. As we’re walking Paul stops suddenly and touches his hair. “I think a bird just pooped in my hair,” he said. “Really?” I asked through a bit of laughter. Yep, it was bound to happen to somebody I knew with all those pesky pigeons downtown. It was even funnier that it happened at this moment.

We get a table at Chili’s and Paul excuses himself to the bathroom to wash out the bird poop of his hair. He gets back, we order and I hit him with the question of all questions, “How is it that I get the privilege of going out to eat with you for your birthday?”

Chirp….chirp….chirp…can you hear the birds?

I took my naive self down to GAP and spent every last penny that was on the gift card, plus a little more I’m sure. Outwardly I now looked even better because I had some new GAP clothes. Inwardly, I was confused, muddled, distracted by the events that had taken place over the last few weeks. There was no way I could allow myself to even begin to dare to think about having feelings for Paul. It was a been there, done that kinda thing and I did NOT want to go back down that road.

So I resigned myself to just be friends with him.

The Spring semester was my final one, or so I hoped, at Southwestern. Having a semi-lighter load than normal I opted to take Systematic Theology II with Dr. Malcolm Yarnell, one of my favorite professors ever and also one of the professors who was on the Oxford adventure, because at that time my degree required hardly any theology. Thinking this was absolutely insane I tried to cram a few classes into an already busy schedule. So Systematic Theology II it was. Did I mention I had not taken Systematic Theology I? Here’s to hoping I didn’t miss anything.

Turns out there were a “crew” of us in there. Old friends, new friends, all huddled up in the back of a lecture room. I sat with my friends Kristen and Jamie behind a row of the Halloween party folks who lived on Sandage (from now on I will refer to them as the friends who lived on Sandage Avenue). Paul was amongst them.

One Tuesday not too long after classes began I thought to myself, “I’d like to have lunch with Paul. I wonder how I can ask him without everyone else finding out and wanting to go.” To this day I have no idea what really prompted that thought. It was not like me to be so bold with a guy. What was I thinking? But contrary to my nature, I casually asked Paul after class if he would like to grab a bite of lunch at the newly redone cafeteria. He agreed, and somehow we ended up at the cafeteria without any friends around. Who knows how that happened.

After deciding on some well-balanced lunch options, we found a table with not too many people around. Small talk was made for a while until Paul pops out with, “So, MacKenzie, what do you look for in a guy? What’s your type?” Ok, just part of NORMAL guy-girl conversation. I did mention the word NAIVE at some point, didn’t I?

“I like outdoorsy guys. Funny, smart, likes to have fun, likes to … yada-yada-yada.” The list went on and on.

Little did I know, Paul was mentally checking things off that list.

Somehow after Halloween my group of friends began to merge with another group of friends, most of whom made up the cast of characters at the Halloween party on Sandage Avenue that I attended even though I knew all of five people.

So two and a half years into my seminary life I found myself making new friends, which is always a bonus, especially when those new friends like to celebrate birthdays by going out to eat fajitas. Paul Davidson was one of those new friends.

Thanksgiving came and went and finals hit hard. We all breathed a sigh of relief when Christmas break officially began. Usually after that sigh is exhaled you begin to pack to go home for the holidays in an excited frenzy, but not me. I had to work until right before Christmas Eve. What can I say? Rent had to be paid. It seemed that all my friends, new and old ones, left as soon as it was possible though, leaving me all alone. Or so I thought.

Paul, having also to work hard for the money, had to remain in Fort Worth long after everyone else had left. Being the only two people remaining behind leading up to the days before Christmas, we of course hung out together. The only other option was sitting alone in an empty apartment, watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” all by yourself, crying like a baby because you hate that you have to work and you can’t be at home cuddled up on your parents couch watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” holding a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and sprinkles made with love by your mother.

Not wanting to be alone Paul and I decided to go Christmas shopping together one day. It was probably the one day we both had off and could actually do something with another person, outside of work. We headed off to Hulen Mall, which in hindsight was CRAZY because Hulen Street is absolute chaos at Christmas time. But we braved the traffic and crowds to shop for our family.

I think we walked the length of that mall three or four times. I learned Paul has really good taste in clothes. He learned that I was obsessed with GAP. I mean, what other store has such a distinct, wonderful smell? There’s no other clothing store I have ever walked into and before touching a piece of clothing, taken a deep breath just to get in the mood of….GAP.

A few days after our shopping day, Paul and I both headed off for our respective homes in Mississippi and Louisiana. After we had all returned from a relaxing, but rushed, break we all spent some time just hanging out before classes resumed. One day on my way out, not too long after returning to Fort Worth, I found a GAP gift card taped to my back door. WHAT? It couldn’t be true. Forty dollars of FREE GAP MONEY! My day was made. But then I realized, there was no name from whom had sent it. Hmmm…it was a mystery, and I like a good mystery. The writing was in a girl’s handwriting. I immediately texted two friends, both of whom denied it was them. Who could it have been then? No other girl I knew who was there would have done it? I said I like mysteries, not that I was good at figuring them out. Did I mention I am also really naive when I started writing this story?

A day or two passed and I had finally narrowed the giver of the free GAP money down to Paul and another guy friend. But I couldn’t figure out which one. And why would either of them give me such a great gift anyway? Could one of them be interested in me? If it was Paul then I had a problem. He was Tanya’s ex. Those lines were not to be crossed.

I had to find out. I went to the only source I could go to: Mindy. She was friends with both guys and I figured she had to know something. Her response went something like this, “Well, Paul just had such a good time with you shopping the other day and he knows how much you like GAP and he does this kinda thing all the time. He doesn’t like you or anything though. He’s just a really nice guy who likes to give people things.”

Ok, I guess my very naive self will buy that little tale.

Summer passed away and fall quickly approached. Classes resumed, and I was quickly back in the old routine of school, practice, work. I began to look forward to college football kicking off and before I could blink it was October.

October. A great month. What’s not to like? Football is going strong, the leaves are changing, deer season has started, and Halloween approaches. I like Halloween for two reasons. Reason one: you can dress up and people won’t think you’re crazy. Reason two – and most importantly: CANDY!!!! YUMMY CANDY!!!!!!! I mean, what’s not to like?

Halloween 2005 I was sitting in my apartment in Carroll Park, probably doing absolutely nothing. I was awoken out of my stupor by a loud knock at the door. Upon opening it, I find a ghost and a tall guy with one of those fake behinds strapped to him. My friends James, the ghost, and Carl, fake behind guy, had come to whisk me away to a costume party on the next street held by some people I knew vaguely. On the way out, we decided to grab Tanya and drag her along. After all, I was going to need someone to stay by side since I had no idea if I was going to know ANYBODY at this party.

On arrival I realize that these seminary students have gone all out on their costumes. There was an African lady, a terrorist (no, I’m not joking), a school girl who looked more like Alice – the one from Wonderland, Dr. Blaising (the assistant dean at Southwestern Seminary), and the scary looking, snot-faced nerd.

Not too many people approached Tanya and I…except the scary looking, snot-faced nerd. Who was he? Because he was playing the part really well, staying in character the ENTIRE night. Turns out, it was Tanya’s ex – Paul. And this was the second time I ever saw Paul H. Davidson. A lasting impression was made.